Mama Mirocha

Thursday, August 4, 2016

All the feels...

So I'm a total basket case the last few weeks. Silly pregnancy hormones have me feeling all the feels. Last week I cried FIVE times before 10am one day. Like, I was bawling and by the afternoon it looked as though a boy broke my heart and I had been up crying in my bed all night. Luckily I was working from home that morning waiting for a plumber so no one had to witness the tears or see the aftermath of my puffy eyes (except my patient husband) but it was awful. Dan called me to check in to see how I was doing and I was crying so hard he couldn't understand me. "Did you just say you don't want to have the baby?" "NOOOOOO! I didn't say that!" If you are a lover of the greatest show of all time, Friends, and remember the episode when Rachel says goodbye to Monica before leaving for Paris and they are both crying and can't understand one another...that's what it was like. Later I was at Costco talking to my mom on the phone and I told her how I was super emotional and she asked why and I lost my sh*t at Costco in the produce section. I couldn't even tell her why because I would start crying even harder. No one needs to see an ugly cry face at Costco.

I was crying because I was thinking about how lucky I am that Miles made me a mama. He is the sweetest, smartest, most curious little boy and I thank my lucky stars to call him mine. I mean "ours" (Dan likes to call me out when I say things like that). When you are pregnant with your first baby, your heart immediately grows because you are carrying another human being inside of you. You often daydream about what the baby will be like and how maternity leave will pan out. You'll ask yourself questions like: How will he behave as a toddler? What kind of hobbies or sports will he like when he's 6 and 16? What kind of person will he be in highschool? When will he fall in love for the first time? When will he have his heart broken for the first time and WHO DO I NEED TO TRACK DOWN TO GIVE HER I PIECE OF MY MIND? Where will he go to college (dear God please let it be close to where we live)? What kind of career will he have? Who will he marry and WILL THEY LIVE CLOSE TO US SO I CAN SEE THEM OFTEN and be close to my grandbabies? And other logical questions like: How can I make sure I don't raise an asshole? How can I make sure he is kind to others? How can I make sure he isn't a bully and will be someone who will stick up for the kid getting picked on? It's like a constant state of curiosity and being worried about something quite honestly I can't really control. But then you actually have the baby. And your heart....oh, your heart...it just expands bigger than you ever thought it could and you immediately fall in love with this tiny little human that made you a mama. And then reality sets in and you have absolutely no idea what you're doing or how you can quite possibly not screw him up for life! But then you get a little more confident at what you're doing and he continues to grow and starts crawling and then walking and then TALKING and you have funny toddler conversations with this little human who made you a mama and then your heart gets even more full!

....and then you get pregnant again and you immediately think about how your family dynamic will change and how this will affect your first baby. The baby who made you a mama. How on earth will we survive when we're used to 100% of our attention on Miles at all times? How on earth can we SHARE our attention or our love with another little baby? Well I've been told by EVERYONE I KNOW who has more than one child that your heart somehow expands immediately and you will instantaneously feel like this new baby who just rocked your family's world is now part of you all -- and your family wouldn't be the same without this new life. I'm quite confident all of these people who told me this are right -- it's just hard to imagine our family of three becoming a family of four some times.

This is why I'm crying all the time these days. We're about four weeks out from my due date. We're about to transition Miles in to his new room with his new big boy bed. There are just a lot of changes happening and about to happen that I get emotional just thinking about this inevitable countdown. For example: So many more nights of our nightly routine just the three of us. Me doing the bath and then Dan "chasing" us down the hall with Miles in nothing but his elephant bath towel and the biggest grin on his face laughing so hard. So many more nights I get to actually sleep several consecutive hours (I have major pregnancy insomnia now so we'll let this one slide). So many more mornings of Miles "helping" me in the kitchen stirring pancake mix and making coffee. So many more weekend days of the three of us hanging out in our jammies for hours and just relaxing with a llimited amount of tantrums/tears. Only a few more nights before we transition Miles to his new room that I actually get to ROCK my baby before putting him down in his crib. Ahhh!

I have no doubt we will love this sweet baby Lemon just as much as we love Miles. I have no doubt I will ask myself the same silly questions for Lemon as I asked myself when I had Miles. I have no doubt that my heart will somehow miraculously grow the second I get to hold her for the first time in my arms. She will be ours and I will be her mama.

All the feels....

Baby Lemon bump pics

Here are a few bump pics of baby Lemon! It's crazy how I was bigger with Miles the first time around than with this little sweetie. Maybe sweet girl will be under 8lbs!

Lemon at 23.5 weeks; Tiny at 21 weeks

24 weeks

27 weeks

Lemon 31 weeks; Tiny 28 weeks

33 weeks

Lemon 33 weeks; Tiny 30 weeks

Lemon 35 weeks; Tiny 32 weeks

Miles 20-21 months

Here's a photo dump of the cutest little boy around! We have enjoyed our summer by playing with Miles' toy garbage truck, fire truck and school bus. We have gone on walks on his new Radio Flyer trike/bike and spend time outside when it's not too hot. Mark, Lyida, J&A were here for a week in July so we got to spend a ton of time with them...I don't think we'll see them again until November which makes me want to cry just thinking about it. Miles LOVES his cousins and often talks about "Jack. Audee".

Portland vacation!

We were able to visit Mark, Lydia, Jack and Audrey (with Kathy and Joe!) for ten days in June. It was so enjoyable to watch Miles hangout with his cousins. They hadn't seen each other since January so the change in all of them was incredible! Miles loved watching J&A and we all noticed after our trip how much more Miles was talking and expanding his vocabulary after spending all that time with his older cousins.

Sleep was pretty rough...not gonna lie. Every time Dan put him down for nap or bedtime Miles would cry and scream "My DADA" for a long period of time (total opposite of what he does at home). Luckily we (well, mainly me) were able to nap when Miles finally went down for his afternoon nap.

We spent the first half of the trip staying at Mark and Lydia's home and the last half of the trip in Bend, OR at a beautiful house we rented on VRBO. Overall the trip was so fun! We went to the Children's Museum, zoo and other 'field trips' like taking a city bus to get bagels and going to the river for a beach day. The weather in Portland was HOT -- high 90s every day. When we got to Bend it was a cool low 70s which felt so nice considering I was 27/28 weeks pregnant!

First night/morning in Portland.

At the Children's Museum

Reading with Papa!

Watermelon and matching water bottles

Choo-choo ride at the Portland Zoo!

Taking the city bus to get bagels

Best buds in Bend

Family photo in Bend!

Very short bike ride around the cul-de-sac

Typical mealtime

Photoshoot - look at how CUTE he is!

Successful vacation in the books! Napping on the way home.

Friday, June 3, 2016

Miles 19-20 months

Miles is in full "I only want Dada mode" and it's killing me. KILLING ME. Yes, I'm that heartbroken over it that I need to use all caps as though I'm shouting. Last weekend when he woke up from his nap I went in to his room to pick him up and he goes "No, Mama. Go. You go. Go, Mama." I asked him "You want me to go? You want me to leave you here in your crib?" and he happily replied back "Yeah. Dada". This morning I was sitting on our bench getting ready to put his shoes on and he WHINED in the most toddler-esque way "Noooooo! No way. Dada." inferring he wanted me to get up and have Dan sit on the bench to help him. Dan and I typically trade off putting Miles down every other night (consists of reading a couple books, turning off the light and singing a song or telling a story). The last two weeks Miles has requested Dan read him books.

Miles has pooped in the potty two times at school so I figured it's time to get a potty for our house for him to practice in. It was so sweet - after the first time he pooped in the potty his teacher called me to tell me! Whenever I get a call from daycare I assume He loves sitting on the potty.

Lately Miles has been obsessed with hoppy's (bunnies). We have a family that frequents our backyard regularly so you'll often find Miles standing by the backdoor yelling "Hoppy! Hoppy!" There's a sweet, little baby bunny we sometimes see.

We leave for Portland tomorrow for 10 days --- super pumped! We can't wait to see Miles interact with Jack and Audrey. We're renting a house in Bend for the last lag of our trip so we'll be able to get outside and do some exploring. More pics to follow after the trip.

I'm almost 27 weeks pregnant with Lemon. This pregnancy has flown by compared to the first time around. I haven't even thought about decorating the nursery or moving Miles to the back bedroom. As of now we're just moving the navy rug to the back bedroom where Miles will sleep and I'll get a more feminine rug or just plain gray. We're going to get a double mattress to put on the floor for now in Miles' new room and will deal with furniture and other things (toys, etc) later on. In my head we'll let him adjust to his new bed and room for a month or two before putting anything else in there that could distract him. Let's see if we follow through on this!

This was my favorite moment in the last month. I took Miles with me to Target one morning and he zonked out on the car ride home (less than 5 minutes from our house) and he was sooooo sleepy that I just held him for a selfish cuddle session. We had to wake him up shortly after in order to not throw off his entire day but it was JUST THE BEST!!!